One lady asked me to drop her off on the outskirts of town because she was going to hitchhike the 5 hour drive to see her daughter. Her daughter didn't want her to come but dammit she was coming anyway. She was either high on drugs or possibly retarded, I couldn't quite tell. We had an in-depth conversation about what it meant to be family. Usually during these conversations I just nod my head and say 'definitely'. She wanted me to drop on the very outskirts of town but I elected to drop her at the gas station, mainly because if she wandered off into a field and died it can't really come back to haunt me. I didn't drop her in a field, if she's there it's her own doing. I dropped her at the gas station.
While walking back to my cab after knocking at a door, one cougar said I had a cute shirt, and a cute ass. I got a $7 tip out of that fare.
One guy got into my cab at Outlaws and said: 'You look sharp, you're a fucking stalion!'. While I took this as a complement I found it weird that he called me a stalion about 7 more times on the ride home. He wasn't hitting on me or anything, but his girlfriend was in the backseat and he kept saying how much he loved her...but he kept calling me a stalion. He asked my name and I told him I was Daniel.
9 people in the cab on the way to a foam party....ho-hum.
One of my regulars, Ward, called me as he usually does and I drove him to the west side. He called me later that evening to come pick him up. When I got there he was a wooden fist tucked into his pants and was missing a shoe. I later learned that he lost one of his shoes and suspected it was stolen. In anger, he stole a sculture of a wooden fist as revenge. He didn't plan on holding it as hostage to get his shoe, he just stole it:
On the ride home he rolled down his window and held the fist out yelling 'black power!' at bystanders who wanted a cab. At one point a hot chick wanted the cab so he opened the side door (cab hasn't stopped at this point) and told her they could go back to her place. She jumped in, jumped out, and then took another cab with her friends. The side door remained open for about 3 blocks before Ward shut it (without leaving the front seat, and without the cab stopping). It's pretty much suicide to stop my cab on Broadway at 3 AM. 10 people would jump in if I did, all trying to go to different places.
Eventually I got Ward home.
Later in the evening I picked 3 ladies who had an interesting story about their last cab driver. Apparently they were stil getting into the cab when the cabbie peeled away with one girl half in the cab and the doors not shut. They driver got super-pissed and physically threw them out of the cab (literally, picked one girl up and threw her out). They told me they suspected he was on drugs, I told them they were probably right. These were probably my nicest customers of the evening though, we talked about many things including why I was a cab driver, having kids, school, and....
I don't know how we got on the subject, but they ended up telling me a story about someone they knew in McNab Park. They didn't want to go to their house because they found out the cat had been raped and they didn't know who did it. WTF! The cat......got raped.....
My next customers were embarrassed because they were telling a story about her boyfriend who had to start jerking himself to get started during sex. They said it was probably a crazy story and they were sorry I had to listen to it. My response was: 'Hey, my last customer told me a story about a cat getting raped...compared to that your story is tame'. They freaked out.
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