As a cabbie I get to meet a wide variety of people, and because these people are all different they all want something different in their taxi cab experience. For some people, they want me to talk and be friendly, but for others they simply want to get to their destination and they just a professional driver-passenger relationship. For some, they want me to get where we're going as fast as possible, while others just want to get there eventually with a comfortable ride. If I only had one style I would piss off many customers, so it's a big part of my to judge people very quickly andf decide how to act.
Before I start though, I'd like to talk about my autopilot feature. Sure, I know that sometimes I should be more talkative, but when you work 12 hour shifts, you just go into autopilot mode. Technically, me eyes are looking at the road, paying attention to traffic lights and other cars....but really, I'm not paying attention at all. My autopilot is very good, I never get into accidents, I avoid all potholes, I don't unintentionally break traffic laws. It surprises me though, because I'm in my own world thinking about something else, and yet somehow I can still operate a vehicle and navigate my way through the city. Much of my shift consists of me on some tangent of a thought process. People ask me why I look so serious and angry. I tell them it's the third line of my contract, but I only say that because I don't want to tell them that I'm not paying attention and I'm drifting off into la-la land. Autopilot...it's a beauty.
Ok, back to judging people:
Backseat vs. Frontseat
One of the biggest indicators of a person's personality is where they sit, especially if they are alone in the cab. Most people sit in the front, but if someone sits in the back by themselves, it's pretty clear that they want to be left alone. They might try to engage in small talk to avoid awkwardness, but these conversations never go anywhere. Most of the ride is spent in silence. These people are usually business people, going to/from the airport, or are residents of the suburbs of the city.
People who sit in the frontseat are usually a lot more personable and want to have a conversation, but not all. I can usually tell by the first few lines of dialogue if this person actually wants to talk. If they talk about the weather or some other bullshit like that, the conversation usually dies. If it's super awkward one of us will usually try to say something, but it never really goes anywhere. These people are usually ones who sit in the front seat to be polite. In Kenya, it's impolite to not sit in the front seat and talk with the driver (I learned this from an international student who was in my cab).
On that note, there are the couples that have one in the front seat and one in the back seat. This is kinda hard to read because I'm wondering whether a)someone is sitting in the frontseat to be polite, like mentioned above or b)they're fighting. However, this is how it usually goes. If the guy is the front seat, they are usually fighting. If the girl in the front seat, she is being polite. If the front seat passenger actually talks to me, then it is usually a good ride. If they don't say anything, the ride usually remains in awkward silence.
On the topic of awkward silence, I'd like to mention that although I usually acknowledge the awkwardness, I never really do anything about it. As I said, I'm in autopilot and usually thinking about something else. However, nothing is more awkward than when I get 4-5 people in the cab and none of them are talking. I mean, c'mon, you guys are going to a club and you're all packed into a cab. Talk please.
Finishing off the backseat vs. frontseat conversation, we have the very personable people, people who really want/need me to talk to them. There is no awkwardness here and this is usually where my temporary friendships of the evening come from. These people are most often from the poorer areas of the city. West-side etiquette dictates that people should sit in the front and talk to the driver. Some of these people are sketchy as hell, but they are all usually pretty friendly...unless they judge me as unfriendly, which does happen.
Skipping Out On The Fare
One of the biggest reasons why I need to judge people is to decide whether or not they will skip out on me. This doesn't happen often, but I'm starting to pick up on the signs:
1. Usually a single person, and in my experiences always male.
2. Friendly. They will always engage in conversation to lighten the mood.
3. Happy. People who are unhappy about paying the fare actually intend on paying the fare. If they didn't intend on paying, they wouldn't be so pissed.
4. Vague directions. Someone skipping out doesn't want you to know where the live. So, they tell you to go to an area of the city and they'll direct you from there.
5. Front seat. The back doors have child locks, if you want to skip you need to be in the front.
6. Short trip to Tim's/McDs. Always beware the customers who wants to pay $5 to go 2 blocks to get food. They probably won't pay.
So, when I see these indicators, here's what I do: I take off my glasses, I turn the headlights off, and as we roll to a stop I open my door just a crack. If they wanna run, I'm ready to go. I don't care if it's only a few bucks, chasing people down is fun. I'm ready to turn off the engine, lock the doors, and chase that motherfucker down.
Here are some tips if you're wanting to skip out:
1. Give your end destination as somewhere further than your house, but with your house on the way.
2. When you get near to your place, ask to stop for a second a 7/11, and that you'll be right back. If no one stores are near, say you need to pick up a friend at their house.
3. Live on the east side. If you say you wanna go to the west side, the cabbie will probably tell you to pay upfront.
4. Run. Don't treat me like some PoS that will let you walk away. Respect...please.
5. Talk about how shitty your day was. It will make me want to be quick to drop you off, and maybe not care about tracking you down.
6. Run fast. Don't let the cabbie run faster than you. These people have massive amounts of built-up frustration and are looking for someone to take it out on. The police won't come to their rescue when someone skips out, and the police won't come to your rescue if the cabbie catches you.
Fun fact. Everyone who has skipped out on me has lived in Sutherland and has worn a baseball cap.
This whole judging thing has taken longer than I expected it to. I'm going to call this Part One and continue this at a later date. There is a no shortage of judging going on in my cab, I will have more blogs about this in the future.
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