This city has too many stop signs. This has become a stop city. We need to be a go city. We need more go signs.
At least I had an excuse tonight. I tried to stop, but my cab wasn't having any of that. I slid through a few red light cameras, I hope they understand. My customers understood. I got into a slide, there was a red light....and all I did was look both ways and power through. They thought I was being crazy and trying to get them there quickly. Whatever gets me a good tip....
Greasy Gregg's Late Night Chow: 7-Eleven Taquito's
I've decided to introduce a reoccurring segment to this blog, based on my sampling of the late night cuisine of the city. These reviews are be perfect for the drunk who just needs to fill his or her belly with greasy goodness. Of course, every segment needs a sponsor, and who better to sponsor greasy good than our friend Greasy Gregg? For those that don't know Gregg, he currently holds the fairly prestigious honour of being the greasiest customer I've had to privilege of driving around. Being 40-50 years old with long, poorly dyed hair and playing VLTs puts you into a certain level of greasiness, but what puts Gregg over the top is that he tried to pick up a hooker in my cab. That really just puts you into a league of your own. Getting on with it, the inaugural food for this segment are the 3 for $5 Taquitos at 7-Eleven. Famous for their Not-really-a-deal-deals, 7-Eleven packs a punch with these spicy grease-dipped fireballs. When presented with options of Jalapeno, Buffalo, and Monterrey Jack, I thought I'd go with the safe non-spicy option, but was knocked back by a fireball of deliciousness. If I am ever to up my game and go for the Jalapeno, I will be sure to bring a fire extinguisher. (I'm exaggerating, they aren't that hot....but they're pretty damn good for 5 AM food). Score: 4.0/5 Greggs
My Night in Numbers
Drinks spilled in my cab tonight: 3. (The beer and the coke were spilled by drunks, but the chocolate milk was all me. That didn't stop me from blaming a drunk when my next customer asked me why I had chocolate milk spilled on myself.)
Trips already booked for tomorrow night: 2People in my cab who I knew: Too many
Friend(s) of a friends: 1
Lost keys in cab: 0 (Despite having to search my cab intensely, they were found at the house I originally picked them up at)
Doughnuts: 2
Packs of Halls: 3
Hours that my iPod lasted: 2 (goddammit!)
I'm considering the idea of gonzo cabbing. For those that don't know the term, gonzo is a style of journalism that Hunter S. Thompson used where he involved himself with the story to a point where he provoked things to happen. Some nights for me are boring, so I think I need to find ways to provoke my customers to make my night more exciting. The trick here is to provoke them without inciting them to hatred and thereby putting my life in jeopardy. How would customers react if I wore a fake beard? played Disney music really loud? starting talking to myself? These are situations that play themselves out in my head throughout my 12 hours of cabbing.
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