So....Christmas is terrible.....at least in terms of working. If it weren't for the Colonial being open, I may have lost money this weekend. I have never in my life seen so many people at the Colonial.
Another terrible thing about Christmas is that the people are all so very nice....and normal. At one point there were people waiting on cabs on the west side and a message got sent out from dispatch: 'Need cabs on the west side. It's Christmas. These are nice people'. Where's the excitement in that? The drunks that I did get in my cab were just sad and lonely. Interesting people were at a minimum.
Usually at the end of a night I know I'm not going to make much money. After 3 AM I have 2 hours left and there aren't many people who need cabs at that time. However, I stick around because there is potential. Picking up someone in a cab is like Russian Roulette. All I get is an address, but what will I find when I get there? The terrible customers are out there, and I'll get them every night, it's only a matter of time....but the good customers are always out there too. So even though I know I'm going to be sitting around in a parking lot for 2 hours, I stay out there because I enjoy the game of it all. I'll still get to meet 3-4 customers and one of them will usually be interesting. Interesting could be a bad thing, but interesting nonetheless.
With all my free time this weekend, I actually went out to talk to other drivers. The first time I did this was in a parking lot in Market Mall. I saw a taxi parked at the edge of the lot so I drove over to say hello. As I'm approaching I notice another person in the car. What's going on here? They're not near a door so he's not unloading a passenger. A friend maybe? I'm still driving a little closer and.....OH! Oh, I see. It appears that our friend the cabbie has found a non-monetary means to settle the fare with his customers. He didn't seem to like me driving by in the middle of it though. The expression I got....anger in its purest form.
The second, third, and fourth time I actually got to talk to the other driver. What I discovered in that these guys are as racist, if not more racist, than the customers I get who complain about how much they hate foreign taxi drivers and who love me for being white. Ya Racism!
Oh ya, the title. Well, it was only a matter of time before someone pulled a knife on me. The good thing was that she wasn't trying to rob me or threaten me. I got to the house and she came to apologize and say that she didn't actually need the cab anymore. Her boyfriend left and called her a cab, and then decided to come back and give her a ride. She pulled out the knife to express her anger and inform me of her plans to separate his testicles from his body by means of the knife. At this point, I rolled up the window a bit and informed her that she was holding a knife to a cabbie. She just stood there for a second. This second lasted a long time. At this point I was beginning to wonder why she pulled that knife out. Did she want to scare me a little bit to make me go away? It would not be unlike a cabbie to demand money from her for the inconvenience of driving to the house. Perhaps she suspected this and brought some back-up. Perhaps she had planned to rob me, but when she saw my sweet, innocent face she just couldn't go through with it. That's probably it. Actually, I've decided that that is now the undoubted truth of the situation. My good looks save me once again.
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Sunday, December 19, 2010
It's Okay, We Didn't Hit Anything
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Saturday, December 18, 2010
Good Luck With That
Sometimes, when I'm creeping in on other peoples' conversations, I like to fill in the rest of the story in my head. I only get to hear a small part of their world, so my imagination will have to do the rest. I help myself to do this by visualizing. I use famous actors and actresses to fill in the personalities that I feel these people should have. In this way, I heard the following stories tonight: James Franco was at a Christmas party where he bored everyone with his off-topic stories and constant interrupting. Luiz Guzman is a chincy, a-hole boss that will only pay for his employees cabs TO the party, but not back home. Patricia Clarkson had a few too many drinks and embarrassed herself by being too honest at her Christmas party....and Brian Cox was the father that was waiting at home that we were trying to avoid, and therefore I had to drop off my customer down the block to avoid waking him up.
Lately, I've been asked a few times why I decided to become a taxi driver. Every time I give the same answer (I give different answers to others questions that I get asked every shift). I tell them I became a taxi driver because of a movie I watched. It's the truth, here's the trailer:
Sunday, December 12, 2010
My New BFF
So, tonight I met Bo, a 40ish year old man who went to watch the fights. We got to talking and eventually we get to Sports on Tap and he asks for my number so that I can pick him later (it's tough to get a cab at Sports on Tap late at night). So, I agreed. I give out my number a lot but I don't actually get called back often. Bo followed through, and I had to fight off some eager potential customers at the door. I said: 'No, this cab is for my friend'. People were angry. When Bo came out he yelled in excitement 'Yay my friend is here to pick me up!'. Ya, we're BFFs now, it's tight.
I've decided that my job is like GTA. I go on missions all night and for some reason a bridge is mysteriously closed. I am hereby accepting all blame for the Victoria Bridge being closed down. I have passed enough missions to access that portion of the map, so the bridge remains closed. I will work hard to pass as many missions as I can to get that bridge back open. Until then, I apologize for the inconvenience. I am also hoping that I get access to a helicopter at some point, which I will immediately crash because the controls are stupid.
It's not odd to get flagged down on Broadway, but when I see a guy running through snow in the median to get my attention I figure this guy really needs a cab. Turns out his buddy was a block away, drunk as all holy hell and trying to drive home. We sat there for a good 5-10 minutes while they tried to convince him. Me, being awesome, finally brought it to an end by offering to drive them for a flat rate of $10. This was a mighty generous offer as they were going to three stops in different areas of the city. They got in the cab and off we went. Fortunately there was a cool half-sober couple to keep me company so I didn't have to deal with the drunks. We went down 20th street to wave at the hookers but there were none. We then went up to the north where everyone stopped for a bathroom break and I declined their offer of them to buy me coffee. The girl in the couple goes to the University and we chatted it up about various things. Turns out she knows some girl I used to work with back in the day whom I stopped talking to for whatever reason. The whole thing was cool and I felt good about helping prevent someone from driving home drunk. They drunks ended chipping in $20 and the half-sober couple chipped in $25. Considering I spent an hour driving them all around the city this was still a pretty good deal for them, but $45 for an hour isn't the worst that I could do.
Terrible customers - they told me to change my music. How dare they? I was rocking some good tunes and they demanded a change to Wired 96. Bitches! One of them also tried hitting on me. She asked what my astrological sign was. I said 'cancer' but apparently she thought I told her to sit down and put her seatbelt on. I have an angry look on my face though, what do expect, I was rocking some Wise Blood and they shut me down.
More bad customers - He was married. She wasn't his wife. They demanded that I open the door for them. They called me grumpy. She rubbed up against me when exiting the cab. She passed out in front of my taxi. I drove away. No tip.
Decent customers - She biffed it in front on my cab. I let them smoke in the van. We talked about what it was like being a cabbie. They were alright.
More decent customers - They had the company charge account. We talked about cougars. They liked my music. $11 tip.
I brought my iPod to work for the first time due to my recently burned CDs not working. The battery lasts 7 hours which is decent and I still have enough CDs to get through the other 5 hours. It's great to have because I can easily let customers change the music to something they like, and I obviously something I still like because it;s on my iPod. However, customers sometimes like rifling through my CDs. One awesome customer not only knew who Edward Sharpe was, but loved that I had their CD. They rocked one song from them, and then switched to some Black Keys. They loved my music and naturally wanted my number so they could call me to pick them up later. I never heard from them again.
I've decided that my job is like GTA. I go on missions all night and for some reason a bridge is mysteriously closed. I am hereby accepting all blame for the Victoria Bridge being closed down. I have passed enough missions to access that portion of the map, so the bridge remains closed. I will work hard to pass as many missions as I can to get that bridge back open. Until then, I apologize for the inconvenience. I am also hoping that I get access to a helicopter at some point, which I will immediately crash because the controls are stupid.
It's not odd to get flagged down on Broadway, but when I see a guy running through snow in the median to get my attention I figure this guy really needs a cab. Turns out his buddy was a block away, drunk as all holy hell and trying to drive home. We sat there for a good 5-10 minutes while they tried to convince him. Me, being awesome, finally brought it to an end by offering to drive them for a flat rate of $10. This was a mighty generous offer as they were going to three stops in different areas of the city. They got in the cab and off we went. Fortunately there was a cool half-sober couple to keep me company so I didn't have to deal with the drunks. We went down 20th street to wave at the hookers but there were none. We then went up to the north where everyone stopped for a bathroom break and I declined their offer of them to buy me coffee. The girl in the couple goes to the University and we chatted it up about various things. Turns out she knows some girl I used to work with back in the day whom I stopped talking to for whatever reason. The whole thing was cool and I felt good about helping prevent someone from driving home drunk. They drunks ended chipping in $20 and the half-sober couple chipped in $25. Considering I spent an hour driving them all around the city this was still a pretty good deal for them, but $45 for an hour isn't the worst that I could do.
Terrible customers - they told me to change my music. How dare they? I was rocking some good tunes and they demanded a change to Wired 96. Bitches! One of them also tried hitting on me. She asked what my astrological sign was. I said 'cancer' but apparently she thought I told her to sit down and put her seatbelt on. I have an angry look on my face though, what do expect, I was rocking some Wise Blood and they shut me down.
More bad customers - He was married. She wasn't his wife. They demanded that I open the door for them. They called me grumpy. She rubbed up against me when exiting the cab. She passed out in front of my taxi. I drove away. No tip.
Decent customers - She biffed it in front on my cab. I let them smoke in the van. We talked about what it was like being a cabbie. They were alright.
More decent customers - They had the company charge account. We talked about cougars. They liked my music. $11 tip.
I brought my iPod to work for the first time due to my recently burned CDs not working. The battery lasts 7 hours which is decent and I still have enough CDs to get through the other 5 hours. It's great to have because I can easily let customers change the music to something they like, and I obviously something I still like because it;s on my iPod. However, customers sometimes like rifling through my CDs. One awesome customer not only knew who Edward Sharpe was, but loved that I had their CD. They rocked one song from them, and then switched to some Black Keys. They loved my music and naturally wanted my number so they could call me to pick them up later. I never heard from them again.
Saturday, December 11, 2010
He's Not A Racist, He Just Hates Foreigners
Dear Diary,
tonight I made two friends. Both of them like me because I am white and other taxi drivers are not. My first friend claimed that it had nothing to do with race, but he just hated being driven around by 'them'. For my second friend, this was second time in my cab. I remember him from the first time because as I was dropping him and his friends off at Tequila's he gave me a casual 'White Power!' followed by a fistbump. My friends are racist, and now they have my cell phone number, so whenever they are drunk and feeling extra racist they can call me up and get a ride. I accept them as friends because they tip generously.
Okay, enough of that....
While playing a 'Death Cab for Cutie' CD a customer made the suggestion that I was actually a serial killer and I was playing the music as a hint that this was a literal 'death cab'. I told her that her fears were justified. The next thing that popped into my head was the tell her that with her in the cab and with me being a serial killer, and this would indeed be a death cab for a cutie. I decided that this was a terrible idea, not only because it was a terrible line, but because hitting on customers is a terrible idea in its own right.
Later in the evening, I drove by a radar trap on 108th street. As I approached, going 30 km/h over the speed limit, the squad car lit up his cherries and berries. When he saw that I was a taxi, he shut those suckers down. That's right! My customers were delighted with my diplomatic immunity (I have decided to call it this for no reason whatsoever)
A drunk girl came out of Tequila's, opened the door to my cab, looked at me, said 'ugh' and then closed the door and got in the cab behind me. WTF!
Tonight was a delightful evening because the majority of my fares were older people coming from Christmas parties as opposed to my usual club trash. When these drunks start a conversation, they are able to articulate complete sentences. We can discuss city transit, construction, music, and so on. This differs from my usual conversations on trying to discover the true nature of the chick who plays hard to get.
My debit machine magically stopped working tonight. I had to tell two customers that they didn't need to pay. I wrote my name and taxi ID on a paper and told them if they feeling generous that they could pay down at the office. They both seemed like good guys, but I do not anticipate getting that $27.
tonight I made two friends. Both of them like me because I am white and other taxi drivers are not. My first friend claimed that it had nothing to do with race, but he just hated being driven around by 'them'. For my second friend, this was second time in my cab. I remember him from the first time because as I was dropping him and his friends off at Tequila's he gave me a casual 'White Power!' followed by a fistbump. My friends are racist, and now they have my cell phone number, so whenever they are drunk and feeling extra racist they can call me up and get a ride. I accept them as friends because they tip generously.
Okay, enough of that....
While playing a 'Death Cab for Cutie' CD a customer made the suggestion that I was actually a serial killer and I was playing the music as a hint that this was a literal 'death cab'. I told her that her fears were justified. The next thing that popped into my head was the tell her that with her in the cab and with me being a serial killer, and this would indeed be a death cab for a cutie. I decided that this was a terrible idea, not only because it was a terrible line, but because hitting on customers is a terrible idea in its own right.
Later in the evening, I drove by a radar trap on 108th street. As I approached, going 30 km/h over the speed limit, the squad car lit up his cherries and berries. When he saw that I was a taxi, he shut those suckers down. That's right! My customers were delighted with my diplomatic immunity (I have decided to call it this for no reason whatsoever)
A drunk girl came out of Tequila's, opened the door to my cab, looked at me, said 'ugh' and then closed the door and got in the cab behind me. WTF!
Tonight was a delightful evening because the majority of my fares were older people coming from Christmas parties as opposed to my usual club trash. When these drunks start a conversation, they are able to articulate complete sentences. We can discuss city transit, construction, music, and so on. This differs from my usual conversations on trying to discover the true nature of the chick who plays hard to get.
My debit machine magically stopped working tonight. I had to tell two customers that they didn't need to pay. I wrote my name and taxi ID on a paper and told them if they feeling generous that they could pay down at the office. They both seemed like good guys, but I do not anticipate getting that $27.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Oh, It's Right Here
Time ceases to have any meaning anymore in my taxi. I remember the order of my customers by what music was playing when they were in my cab.
At half past 'Arcade Fire' I picked a grad student who was a prof party (I'm scared that there are such things as prof parties). She came from BC, was an Arts student, and hated Saskatoon. I took an instant liking to her, but that didn't last long. I found out the reason she left the party was because she was asked to leave. Shortly after finding this out, I discovered why she was asked to leave. In the span of College Drive from Cumberland to Clarence she managed to insult me, arts students, business students, Saskatchewan, graduate studies, Saskatoon, and her profs....but not the U of S, apparently the U of S is alright. Anyway, the trip became noteworthy after we stopped at a Mac's and then to her apartment. At this point she notified me that she had lost her wallet. She sat in the cab for a few minutes looking through her purse and around her seat. I also looked around from my seat. Eventually she decided that her wallet was no longer in the cab and that she must have left it at Mac's. It's worth pointing out that her drunkenness made this take longer than it should have. She managed to go into a drunk pity mode, which is really the worst type of drunk mode. She felt bad for me, apologized, and then got angry again....all in the span of a few seconds. We went back to Mac's to check for the wallet. It wasn't there. It was clear that she was not going to leave my cab until this was sorted out....partially because she wanted me to get paid, but also because she wanted her IDs. I didn't really give a fuck either way. This last half an hour until I decided to actually get out of the cab and search the area that she was looking at and had been for quite some time. In the most obvious of spaces, right by the seat, was her wallet. In a very calm way, I picked it up and said 'Here it is'. I got back into the cab, drove her home, and that was that. I shut off the meter while she was looking and while we went to Mac's. She tipped me 3 dollars for my half-hour of time. This was during my busiest hours of the night.
One 'gentlemen' wanted a short trip from Tequila's to the Travelodge. One person going on a short trip is a sure sign of a skipper. We got to the hotel, he said thanks and prepared to leave. I reminded him of his tab and wondered aloud if I was going to have to chase him down. Amazingly, he added a $9 tip.
The 'Asshole of the Night Award' goes to......some asshole at Outlaws/ It's 4 AM, he says he's going to some hotel nearby and tells me where to go....except that he leads me down a dead end. In the process, he gives me the names of 3 hotels in the area. I repeatedly ask which one he is actually going to, and he begins to complain that I don't know where I'm going. We're driving by the Ramada when a cop car flags me down and asks if I room for 6 drunk girls who are trying to drive home. I say that I only have room for 5. The 'gentlemen' in my cab says he would love to have the girls in the cab with him, especially because he is headed back to his hotel room. Luckily enough, the cops won't let me put 7 people in a cab that only has room for 6. So, I tell them to wait one minute while I drop this guy off and come back to pick up the girls. My customers continues to lead me on a wild goose chase through roads that we've already established are dead-ends. I tell him repeatedly to give me the name of the actual hotel and he continues to blame me for all this, asking if it's my first day on the job. While driving around, I see that the cops have left the car full of drunk girls alone, and while passing me they inform me that they no longer need a cab ride home and they drive off. I try to stop them, but what more can I do....other than fishtail them off the road, which I'm not prepared to do. I really hope those girls got home safe. If I see an article in the paper tomorrow about that black car being in a major accident, I'm going to that hotel room and punching this asshole repeatedly. That hotel room, by the way, we eventually got to. It was about a 30 second walk from where I initially picked him up. Furthermore, he refused to pay because of the obviously bad service that I received.
Once again, I met a guy who I went to high school with. Even after I told him who I was he said I looked nothing like how I did 4 years ago. This is the 4th person I've gone to high school with who came into my cab and said this. Apparently I've changed quite a bit over the last few years. This was probably the most awkward ride of the night though. I have customers who never say a word, but it's weird when you point out that you went to high school together, get to talking about we've both been doing since grad, and then just total silence for the rest of the way home.
At half past 'Arcade Fire' I picked a grad student who was a prof party (I'm scared that there are such things as prof parties). She came from BC, was an Arts student, and hated Saskatoon. I took an instant liking to her, but that didn't last long. I found out the reason she left the party was because she was asked to leave. Shortly after finding this out, I discovered why she was asked to leave. In the span of College Drive from Cumberland to Clarence she managed to insult me, arts students, business students, Saskatchewan, graduate studies, Saskatoon, and her profs....but not the U of S, apparently the U of S is alright. Anyway, the trip became noteworthy after we stopped at a Mac's and then to her apartment. At this point she notified me that she had lost her wallet. She sat in the cab for a few minutes looking through her purse and around her seat. I also looked around from my seat. Eventually she decided that her wallet was no longer in the cab and that she must have left it at Mac's. It's worth pointing out that her drunkenness made this take longer than it should have. She managed to go into a drunk pity mode, which is really the worst type of drunk mode. She felt bad for me, apologized, and then got angry again....all in the span of a few seconds. We went back to Mac's to check for the wallet. It wasn't there. It was clear that she was not going to leave my cab until this was sorted out....partially because she wanted me to get paid, but also because she wanted her IDs. I didn't really give a fuck either way. This last half an hour until I decided to actually get out of the cab and search the area that she was looking at and had been for quite some time. In the most obvious of spaces, right by the seat, was her wallet. In a very calm way, I picked it up and said 'Here it is'. I got back into the cab, drove her home, and that was that. I shut off the meter while she was looking and while we went to Mac's. She tipped me 3 dollars for my half-hour of time. This was during my busiest hours of the night.
One 'gentlemen' wanted a short trip from Tequila's to the Travelodge. One person going on a short trip is a sure sign of a skipper. We got to the hotel, he said thanks and prepared to leave. I reminded him of his tab and wondered aloud if I was going to have to chase him down. Amazingly, he added a $9 tip.
The 'Asshole of the Night Award' goes to......some asshole at Outlaws/ It's 4 AM, he says he's going to some hotel nearby and tells me where to go....except that he leads me down a dead end. In the process, he gives me the names of 3 hotels in the area. I repeatedly ask which one he is actually going to, and he begins to complain that I don't know where I'm going. We're driving by the Ramada when a cop car flags me down and asks if I room for 6 drunk girls who are trying to drive home. I say that I only have room for 5. The 'gentlemen' in my cab says he would love to have the girls in the cab with him, especially because he is headed back to his hotel room. Luckily enough, the cops won't let me put 7 people in a cab that only has room for 6. So, I tell them to wait one minute while I drop this guy off and come back to pick up the girls. My customers continues to lead me on a wild goose chase through roads that we've already established are dead-ends. I tell him repeatedly to give me the name of the actual hotel and he continues to blame me for all this, asking if it's my first day on the job. While driving around, I see that the cops have left the car full of drunk girls alone, and while passing me they inform me that they no longer need a cab ride home and they drive off. I try to stop them, but what more can I do....other than fishtail them off the road, which I'm not prepared to do. I really hope those girls got home safe. If I see an article in the paper tomorrow about that black car being in a major accident, I'm going to that hotel room and punching this asshole repeatedly. That hotel room, by the way, we eventually got to. It was about a 30 second walk from where I initially picked him up. Furthermore, he refused to pay because of the obviously bad service that I received.
Once again, I met a guy who I went to high school with. Even after I told him who I was he said I looked nothing like how I did 4 years ago. This is the 4th person I've gone to high school with who came into my cab and said this. Apparently I've changed quite a bit over the last few years. This was probably the most awkward ride of the night though. I have customers who never say a word, but it's weird when you point out that you went to high school together, get to talking about we've both been doing since grad, and then just total silence for the rest of the way home.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Chicks Dig Grizzly Bears
I killed an old hag with kindness today. My first customer of the day. Evidently she had been waiting for an hour and needed to go to the medi-clinic. When I got there she bitched at me about how it was a van cab and not a car....and then she bitched about how I didn't help her with her bag, the bag I never knew about until she complained about it. Then she didn't want to stop at a stoplight, and then she bitched about stores having too much lights and wasting money. But then, in comes Carson with his class and kindness. I take all of her complaints in stride, I speak kindly, I offer to help her to the door of the medi-clinic. At the end, she apologizes for being rude and blames it on not feeling well. She doesn't tip but she attitude towards me changed considerably. I win!
Bitch.
I started the evening taking stats on age, gender, quality, tip size, time, and no. of passengers to see if I could get some statistics going, but I gave that up pretty quickly.
Some band was in my cab. I don't know who they were but they seemed to think they were all that because they could by-pass the line at The Pat. They're playing at Amigo's next Friday, I don't know who they are, but they seemed alright because they enjoyed my Black Keys CD.
Observation: Women judge men by what they're like when they're drunk. Men put up with how women are when they're drunk. Somehow, many drunk assholes have girlfriends who are both hot and nice. It's kind of depressing to hear what boyfriends have to say after we've dropped off their girlfriend.
Bitch.
I started the evening taking stats on age, gender, quality, tip size, time, and no. of passengers to see if I could get some statistics going, but I gave that up pretty quickly.
Some band was in my cab. I don't know who they were but they seemed to think they were all that because they could by-pass the line at The Pat. They're playing at Amigo's next Friday, I don't know who they are, but they seemed alright because they enjoyed my Black Keys CD.
Observation: Women judge men by what they're like when they're drunk. Men put up with how women are when they're drunk. Somehow, many drunk assholes have girlfriends who are both hot and nice. It's kind of depressing to hear what boyfriends have to say after we've dropped off their girlfriend.
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Generic Title
Having picked him up 4 times now, I can now add the Star Phoenix writer to my list of regulars to go along with the racist red-bearded brothers.
Black Keys has taken over from The New Pornographers as most popular music in the cab, or at least most commented on, although my Japanese rock started a couple conversations. I feel like playing more foreign music as a way of picking out the racists more quickly. People expect Pakistani and Indian music, but nobody expects the Japanese and French to make an appearance.
Tomorrow night, I begin taking stats. Demographics vs. Tip Size ....I might need a control weekend first, Hour vs. Tip Size.
Black Keys has taken over from The New Pornographers as most popular music in the cab, or at least most commented on, although my Japanese rock started a couple conversations. I feel like playing more foreign music as a way of picking out the racists more quickly. People expect Pakistani and Indian music, but nobody expects the Japanese and French to make an appearance.
Tomorrow night, I begin taking stats. Demographics vs. Tip Size ....I might need a control weekend first, Hour vs. Tip Size.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Dispatch
*Dispatch, this is 107*
*Go ahead 107*
*A black cat has just run past the front of my vehicle, please advise*
*Could you repeat that 107*
*A black cat has crossed my path. I believe this to have severely harmed my luck for the evening. Dispatch, please advise*
*107, this channel is for official use only*
*This is a very official matter dispatch*
*107, please leave the voice channel open for official calls*
*When I'm dead and bloodied in a ditch due to bad luck, will that be official enough for you dispatch?*
*No*
*Go ahead 107*
*A black cat has just run past the front of my vehicle, please advise*
*Could you repeat that 107*
*A black cat has crossed my path. I believe this to have severely harmed my luck for the evening. Dispatch, please advise*
*107, this channel is for official use only*
*This is a very official matter dispatch*
*107, please leave the voice channel open for official calls*
*When I'm dead and bloodied in a ditch due to bad luck, will that be official enough for you dispatch?*
*No*
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Welcome to Sketch-town
My evening started with a mad craving for McDonalds that only a drunk would understand. It took a considerable amount of will power to stick to my regular cabbing diet of a donut and hot chocolate....that is, until 2:30, when a customer needed his McDonald's. A closed 51st street location would not stop him, and when we eventually found an open McDonald's, a 10 car line-up in the drive thru wouldn't stop him either. Unfortunately, he insisted all too much that he buy me a couple cheeseburgers. I caved.
It was at that point I decided to never eat McDonald's while working ever again.
My customer was a group of 6 who went to McDonald's and bought me a cheeseburger and a McFlurry. They were both delicious.
One group of ladies had the extreme pleasure of having me as their cabbie not once but twice for the evening. Unfortunately, they had a third cab trip that wasn't with me. This cabbie brought them to a bar that was closed and left quickly before they realized, which is when I came to their rescue. They somehow rationalized that I should give them a discount because this was their second trip with me and they were screwed by another driver. There's no reason why I should give them a discount. They got 50% off.
My last fare was a young lady who had a pretty rough evening and had her cell phone ripped in half by her best friend. I let her use my phone and she apologized almost the whole way about being a bad customer for complaining so much. The thing is, I liked her more than most of my other customers. I liked the good feeling from being able to help her and I like hearing about other people's problems. Unfortunately I couldn't offer any wise advice, but I'm a good listener and she seemed to appreciate that....she kept apologizing though, I don't get that part, I felt weird that I had to say 'that's okay' repeatedly, and then make up a story about how my phone minutes were about to expire so they needed to be used up anyway. Tip: $4.00
Overall evening rating: Sketchy
It was at that point I decided to never eat McDonald's while working ever again.
My customer was a group of 6 who went to McDonald's and bought me a cheeseburger and a McFlurry. They were both delicious.
One group of ladies had the extreme pleasure of having me as their cabbie not once but twice for the evening. Unfortunately, they had a third cab trip that wasn't with me. This cabbie brought them to a bar that was closed and left quickly before they realized, which is when I came to their rescue. They somehow rationalized that I should give them a discount because this was their second trip with me and they were screwed by another driver. There's no reason why I should give them a discount. They got 50% off.
My last fare was a young lady who had a pretty rough evening and had her cell phone ripped in half by her best friend. I let her use my phone and she apologized almost the whole way about being a bad customer for complaining so much. The thing is, I liked her more than most of my other customers. I liked the good feeling from being able to help her and I like hearing about other people's problems. Unfortunately I couldn't offer any wise advice, but I'm a good listener and she seemed to appreciate that....she kept apologizing though, I don't get that part, I felt weird that I had to say 'that's okay' repeatedly, and then make up a story about how my phone minutes were about to expire so they needed to be used up anyway. Tip: $4.00
Overall evening rating: Sketchy
Saturday, November 20, 2010
No, You Can't Pay In Nachos
As a cabbie, I'm learning a lot about people, so when an incoherent young male enters my cab, gives rough directions and eats nachos the whole way there, I know to be suspicious. After going on a long trip through the city we eventually get to his house (tip off: we took a longer route and he didn't care) So, as we're pulling up I take off my glasses, unbuckle my seatbelt, and I'm ready to go. Sure enough, the cab stops and he just gets out without paying. Fortunately, he's not a runner. He tries to give me a fistbump, offers me some nachos, and tries to just walk away. He leaves some fajita-type things in my cab. I grab the food, get out, toss the food high in the air and tell him he needs to pay up. He seems surprised that I actually got out of the cab, he has evidently done this before. So, I grab him by the shirt, turn him around, and take his wallet. I take out the fare, plus a $5 tip which I decided he wanted to give me for the inconvenience, and told him to have a nice day. This little incident boosted my energy for a little while. I was disappointed that it was so easy but was glad to get money from a skipper.
My next fare was a young couple coming from the Scuz. The male was a drunk asshole and the girl was a hopeless dependent. She was way too good for her and he treated her like garbage. She kept calling him cute and funny. While saying good things about him, she was half-laughing and half-crying and every once in a while fell into a cry about him ditching her and being with other chicks. They've been going out for two and a half years, I hope she dumps him. They stopped at McDonald's and I got a cheeseburger out of it.
I ended up back at the Scuz and ended up picking up two guys I went to high school with. I've picked up people I've gone or still go to school with, but these guys were actually good friends of mine in high school. We never talked after high school and they seemed really surprised to see me. I felt kind of stupid being a cab driver, but I made sure to point out where I was in school so they didn't think I completely bombed in life.
Last trip of the night involved me losing my drive-thru virginity. I got a decent tip out of it.
My next fare was a young couple coming from the Scuz. The male was a drunk asshole and the girl was a hopeless dependent. She was way too good for her and he treated her like garbage. She kept calling him cute and funny. While saying good things about him, she was half-laughing and half-crying and every once in a while fell into a cry about him ditching her and being with other chicks. They've been going out for two and a half years, I hope she dumps him. They stopped at McDonald's and I got a cheeseburger out of it.
I ended up back at the Scuz and ended up picking up two guys I went to high school with. I've picked up people I've gone or still go to school with, but these guys were actually good friends of mine in high school. We never talked after high school and they seemed really surprised to see me. I felt kind of stupid being a cab driver, but I made sure to point out where I was in school so they didn't think I completely bombed in life.
Last trip of the night involved me losing my drive-thru virginity. I got a decent tip out of it.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
My Own Personal Roundabout
I thought tonight would be exciting. Last night was slow which means everyone should be going to the club on Saturday....but no. An hour and a half went by tonight, without a single customer. I sat in various parking lots listening to Bob Marley and drinking energy drinks. When I finally did get a ride there was a combination of energy drinks, Wolfmother on max volume, and giddiness that had me flying down the streets in eager anticipation of who my awesome customer would be. Unfortunately my customer turned out to be an A&W worker finishing her shift. You were a terrible customer. You in no way entertained me, I'm so disappointed in you.
During this hour and a half, I made my way to the parking lot of the Real Canadian Wholesale, which was closed and therefore the parking lot made empty. I took advantage of this opportunity to create my own personal roundabout. I circled the parking lot with Wolfmother once again on max volume. Keep in mind that this was at 8:00 and right beside 8th street. I received a few strange looks, especially from the lady sitting in the truck parked at the edge of the parking lot.
In this parking lot I also discovered another gem, a garbage can. I know, doesn't sound special, but this is not an ordinary garbage can, it's a garbage can that I can drive by and throw stuff away without getting out of my cab....and it's a spot that I frequently go by. Laziness for the win!
A 60 year old man commented that he liked my music and was interested who they were. He didn't seem pleased with their name when I told them that they were called 'The New Pornographers'. That CD got some other positive comments throughout the night as I played it twice (not because I liked it so much, but because I was actually busy and didn't have time to switch it out).
I'm considering keeping track of stats throughout my shift. One stat per night, for example: for solo customers, how many sit in the back seat vs. the front seat (solo back seat customers are elitists)....or, demographics for different club destinations. This is an idea that really only seems good at the end of a 12 hour shift when you've had too many energy drinks. It's probably going to happen though.
I brought my camera out on my shift this weekend to get some pictures of the Saskatoon evening wildlife (drunks, hookers, and babes)...but unfortunately my camera sucks and can't take a moving shot or a half decent night shot.
Highlight of the Night: Two japanese girls going to the Shark Club. Wowz.
I had to talk to a few other cabbies tonight. I didn't know their names so I just called them each Mohammad. They either didn't correct me or their names are actually Mohammad. Of the four cabbies whose names I actually know in this city, two of them are Mohammad. /racism
During this hour and a half, I made my way to the parking lot of the Real Canadian Wholesale, which was closed and therefore the parking lot made empty. I took advantage of this opportunity to create my own personal roundabout. I circled the parking lot with Wolfmother once again on max volume. Keep in mind that this was at 8:00 and right beside 8th street. I received a few strange looks, especially from the lady sitting in the truck parked at the edge of the parking lot.
In this parking lot I also discovered another gem, a garbage can. I know, doesn't sound special, but this is not an ordinary garbage can, it's a garbage can that I can drive by and throw stuff away without getting out of my cab....and it's a spot that I frequently go by. Laziness for the win!
A 60 year old man commented that he liked my music and was interested who they were. He didn't seem pleased with their name when I told them that they were called 'The New Pornographers'. That CD got some other positive comments throughout the night as I played it twice (not because I liked it so much, but because I was actually busy and didn't have time to switch it out).
I'm considering keeping track of stats throughout my shift. One stat per night, for example: for solo customers, how many sit in the back seat vs. the front seat (solo back seat customers are elitists)....or, demographics for different club destinations. This is an idea that really only seems good at the end of a 12 hour shift when you've had too many energy drinks. It's probably going to happen though.
I brought my camera out on my shift this weekend to get some pictures of the Saskatoon evening wildlife (drunks, hookers, and babes)...but unfortunately my camera sucks and can't take a moving shot or a half decent night shot.
Highlight of the Night: Two japanese girls going to the Shark Club. Wowz.
I had to talk to a few other cabbies tonight. I didn't know their names so I just called them each Mohammad. They either didn't correct me or their names are actually Mohammad. Of the four cabbies whose names I actually know in this city, two of them are Mohammad. /racism
Saturday, November 13, 2010
You Can't Just Hit Pedestrians Like That
First 3 hours: 3 trips, but all to the Blades game with Shannon Tweed, which backed up traffic an amazingly long way, so it was still decent money.
D-Bag #1: A fellow who was angry about me not taking Circle Drive to Idylwyld. I'm looking at the Google Maps as I type this, the route I took was approximately 700m shorter than his route, and I knew this...but he still gave me a grumpy demeanor. Instead of saying anything about my route being better, I gave him one of his $5 bills back at the end of the trip and apologized for taking the wrong turn. Why? Because I'm a classy guy, that's why.
D-Bag #2: A guy who didn't want to take the $10 cab back to his place and threatened to drive home drunk (extremely drunk). I instead told him that I'd use the tip his friends gave me ($3) to drive him home. Why? Because I'm classy and I'm awesome.
D-Bag #3: At the end of night, I'm listening to my Grizzly Bear CD, a band that I wasn't sure if anyone knew. However, a girl in the group for my last fare of the night did know them. She told me to crank it up and proceeded to have a make-out session with her boyfriend. Seeing this, I decide to drive smoothly along what it otherwise a bumpy Taylor Street. How do I get repaid for this? A $1 tip. Honestly, if you're going to tip that little, just don't tip at all. That's less than the obligatory nice tip and it was even a good ride for them.
I did have my CDs though, so it was a good night. It was made better by the 65ish year old man who was rocking out to 'Mick and the boys'.
Best moment of the evening: I'm driving down Broadway and a man runs into the street and stares at my approaching taxi. I slow down and stop. He runs at my cab, jumps on the hood, and proceeds to yell at me: 'You can't just hit a pedestrian like that, I'm going to sue you!' He then walks to my window. I roll it down and he offers me a handful of his Chili/Lime almonds that he is snacking on. I politely refuse, but he insists so I finally accept. They were actually quite good. We wave and go our separate ways.
At around 3 AM a message comes on my computer that a fellow cab driver has hit the emergency button and we are told where his approximate location is, so I go racing off. Getting robbed, getting stabbed....these are things that I don't really think about, but they are always on the back of my mind. I don't know why he hit the emergency button but I'm going as fast as I can to get there. I'm the first other cab on the scene and as it turns out he just went home and took a nap, must've hit the emergency button my mistake. Anticlimactic, I know....but as I'm waiting there, about 5-6 other cabs show up to check it out. For the first time as a cab driver, I actually felt like part of a 'brotherhood of cabbies'. If that guy would've actually been in trouble, we would've beaten whatever shitbird was causing trouble. If I ever get into trouble, there'll be guys there to help me out. It's a nice feeling.
Speaking of other cabbies, I got to have a conversation with another cabbie while waiting outside Amigo's. I've seen this guy a couple times. Instead of the dress clothes that we are supposed to wear, he wears jeans, a sweater and some gold chains around his neck. He completes the look with slicked back hair and a pretty solid mustache. He will henceforth be known as Mr. Cool. We talked about how it was going to be busy next week because of welfare checks. He was surprised that I didn't know about the timing of welfare checks, but I told him that I was too white and middle class to know about such things. /racism
Committed boyfriend of the night: A guy takes a $35 cab ride to see his girl home and then goes back to the bar. She cries almost the whole way and they spend a solid 4-5 minutes at the door saying goodbye. On the way back to the bar, he tells me how he hates dealing with her crap because she's so young (19). He said that I would see all girls that age as immature when I become his age (25). He sticks with her because 'she is so fine'. We eventually talked about entrepreneurship and owning our own businesses one day.
Tip Guidelines (because I've had so many people ask me)
-this is what you're telling me with your tip
$0.00 - I'm a complete asswipe who doesn't deserve to live.
$0.01-1.99 - I'm insulting you. I'm putting in the effort to tip but making an effort to tip poorly.
$2.00 - 3.50 - Obligatory tip. I'm just being proper
$3.51 - 5.00 - You've actually done something to deserve this, you're an okay guy.
$5.01 - 8.00 - I'm sorry about that / You're awesome!
$8.01 - 11.00 - I'm a drunk cougar and I think you're cute
$11.01+ - I'm REALLY sorry about that
Hope that helps....
Tonight I learned that in Kenya, it's impolite to not have someone sit shotgun in a taxi.
On one last note, I must have been looking extra young tonight, because I got more comments on that than usual.
D-Bag #1: A fellow who was angry about me not taking Circle Drive to Idylwyld. I'm looking at the Google Maps as I type this, the route I took was approximately 700m shorter than his route, and I knew this...but he still gave me a grumpy demeanor. Instead of saying anything about my route being better, I gave him one of his $5 bills back at the end of the trip and apologized for taking the wrong turn. Why? Because I'm a classy guy, that's why.
D-Bag #2: A guy who didn't want to take the $10 cab back to his place and threatened to drive home drunk (extremely drunk). I instead told him that I'd use the tip his friends gave me ($3) to drive him home. Why? Because I'm classy and I'm awesome.
D-Bag #3: At the end of night, I'm listening to my Grizzly Bear CD, a band that I wasn't sure if anyone knew. However, a girl in the group for my last fare of the night did know them. She told me to crank it up and proceeded to have a make-out session with her boyfriend. Seeing this, I decide to drive smoothly along what it otherwise a bumpy Taylor Street. How do I get repaid for this? A $1 tip. Honestly, if you're going to tip that little, just don't tip at all. That's less than the obligatory nice tip and it was even a good ride for them.
I did have my CDs though, so it was a good night. It was made better by the 65ish year old man who was rocking out to 'Mick and the boys'.
Best moment of the evening: I'm driving down Broadway and a man runs into the street and stares at my approaching taxi. I slow down and stop. He runs at my cab, jumps on the hood, and proceeds to yell at me: 'You can't just hit a pedestrian like that, I'm going to sue you!' He then walks to my window. I roll it down and he offers me a handful of his Chili/Lime almonds that he is snacking on. I politely refuse, but he insists so I finally accept. They were actually quite good. We wave and go our separate ways.
At around 3 AM a message comes on my computer that a fellow cab driver has hit the emergency button and we are told where his approximate location is, so I go racing off. Getting robbed, getting stabbed....these are things that I don't really think about, but they are always on the back of my mind. I don't know why he hit the emergency button but I'm going as fast as I can to get there. I'm the first other cab on the scene and as it turns out he just went home and took a nap, must've hit the emergency button my mistake. Anticlimactic, I know....but as I'm waiting there, about 5-6 other cabs show up to check it out. For the first time as a cab driver, I actually felt like part of a 'brotherhood of cabbies'. If that guy would've actually been in trouble, we would've beaten whatever shitbird was causing trouble. If I ever get into trouble, there'll be guys there to help me out. It's a nice feeling.
Speaking of other cabbies, I got to have a conversation with another cabbie while waiting outside Amigo's. I've seen this guy a couple times. Instead of the dress clothes that we are supposed to wear, he wears jeans, a sweater and some gold chains around his neck. He completes the look with slicked back hair and a pretty solid mustache. He will henceforth be known as Mr. Cool. We talked about how it was going to be busy next week because of welfare checks. He was surprised that I didn't know about the timing of welfare checks, but I told him that I was too white and middle class to know about such things. /racism
Committed boyfriend of the night: A guy takes a $35 cab ride to see his girl home and then goes back to the bar. She cries almost the whole way and they spend a solid 4-5 minutes at the door saying goodbye. On the way back to the bar, he tells me how he hates dealing with her crap because she's so young (19). He said that I would see all girls that age as immature when I become his age (25). He sticks with her because 'she is so fine'. We eventually talked about entrepreneurship and owning our own businesses one day.
Tip Guidelines (because I've had so many people ask me)
-this is what you're telling me with your tip
$0.00 - I'm a complete asswipe who doesn't deserve to live.
$0.01-1.99 - I'm insulting you. I'm putting in the effort to tip but making an effort to tip poorly.
$2.00 - 3.50 - Obligatory tip. I'm just being proper
$3.51 - 5.00 - You've actually done something to deserve this, you're an okay guy.
$5.01 - 8.00 - I'm sorry about that / You're awesome!
$8.01 - 11.00 - I'm a drunk cougar and I think you're cute
$11.01+ - I'm REALLY sorry about that
Hope that helps....
Tonight I learned that in Kenya, it's impolite to not have someone sit shotgun in a taxi.
On one last note, I must have been looking extra young tonight, because I got more comments on that than usual.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Inappropriate Leg Touching
My night: Fight in my cab, fight outside my cab, crotch in my face, inappropriate leg touching, free willy theme song, Bohemian Rhapsody, driving friends around for free, Tim Horton's donuts, cop cars, ambulances, being too late to pick up friends, flirting with cougars, being 'too young', being 'too good looking to be a cab driver', and being given directions in another language.
I just have no desire to type anything more than that. For one, I'm tired...but more importantly, I am seriously distressed about the lack of good music in my cab. This is a problem that will be dealt with this week in the form of burning CDs of all my music.
I just have no desire to type anything more than that. For one, I'm tired...but more importantly, I am seriously distressed about the lack of good music in my cab. This is a problem that will be dealt with this week in the form of burning CDs of all my music.
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Taxi Cab Depression (Hi, my name is Roger)
What makes a bad night for a tax driver? Rowdy customers? Rude customers? Getting ripped off? Not making money? Believe it or not, none of these things really irritate me. What makes a night bad for me is boredom. The city sucks, I spent way too much time sitting in parking lots tonight....and way too much time getting to the customers house early and waiting for them to get ready. I can deal with almost everyone and everything that comes into my cab, but boredom just sucks.
For this reason, I was glad for a little AIESEC party break in the middle of the my shift. I'm glad that I have a job that I can just stop working whenever I want, but at the same time it's hard to stop working because all I think about is how much I could be making if I was actually working instead of eating ice cream cake.
Random conversation:
Tim Horton's Employee: 'that come to $1.87'
Me: *hands him a $20 bill'
THE: It's just easier if you pay with that $5 bill in your hand
Me: Ya, I just want to break a $20
THE: But it's just less change to pay with a $5
Me: That's the point, I want some $5 bills instead of this $20
THE: But it's...
Me: I don't even want your shitty coffee, I really just want the change
THE: Your change comes to $18.13
...
Me: Hey man, I'm sorry about the whole 'shitty coffee' thing
THE: That's okay
Me: I love your coffee, I'd die without it.
THE: I hate the coffee here
The excitement of the evening picked up with a group of customers, one in particular who referenced every popular movie of the last decade within 5 minutes, took a piss out the side of my cab, tried to get his friends to make two stops, opened the door while I was driving down 33rd, and then eventually got home. When there, he apologized for his antics, which included asking me 5 or 6 times what my name was. Despite giving him my correct name, he called me Roger and claimed that I was ignoring him. He gave me $60 for a $6 fare, but then didn't like that I was ignoring him. He called me an asshole, took back $40 and said if he ever saw me again he'd punch me in the face. He then finally got out and I took his friends to their house. I told them that the extra $14 the other guy gave me covered their fare, but the one girl gave me an extra $10 and apologized.
My next customers were similarly loud but less threatening. The one guy who sat up front asked me my name 4 times. Despite also telling him my real name, he decided that my name was going to be Chad instead. He attempted to razz me as he usually does to other cab drivers, but couldn't be on his game because he said I was too cool of a guy. When we got to their home, they invited me in for a beer, to which I declined.
Later on, I met two guys who were snorting something as I drove up. Their later conversation revealed this to be cocaine. They gave me an address across the city, to which I began driving on the most direct route. Half-way through one of them accused me of going in the wrong direction. He told me to make a couple turns in what was actually the wrong direction. Eventually, we stopped and I got out my map to ensure them that I knew where I was going. They were upset with my constant delays and going in the wrong direction. When we had almost arrived, they argued as to whether they were going to the right place. When we arrived, I decided not to unlock the doors. The guy in the back tried to get out really quickly but couldn't pass my super awesome security device known as child-safety locks. His friend also tried to leave quickly, but upon seeing that I wasn't unlocking the back door for his friend, he paid me the $12 fare....no tip, of course. His friend in the back finally got out and proceeded to slam the side door of the van on his own hand. As I drove off, he was clearly in a considerable amount of pain. He slammed a door really hard on his hand. He also almost left his shoes in my cab. I don't know when or why he had his shoes taken off. I got out of there pretty quickly.
My next fare came in the form of a woman running away from a guy. She jumped in the front seat rather quickly and said: 'He's not coming. Go, go, go!' We struck up a conversation, and it turns out she is also a 4th year student at the Edwards School of Business. She didn't recognize me at all, but she did look a little familiar to me. I plugged AIESEC and my foreign film night during our conversation about what it is like being a cab driver. She was cool, having a good conversation can really make a night better.
My night ended with me working past my shifts' end in order to pick up Marshall, who has become a regular in my cab....Marshall and his 100% tips are welcome at any time. I was also supposed to pick up another friend, some guy I worked with a year ago at London Drugs. He found out I was cab driver and got my number through my brother. He said he would call me later in the evening but never did. Now that he has my number, he is about to become a regular in my cab.
How much money did I make tonight? I don't really care. I'm fucking tired and even I don't know whether I'm Carson, Roger, Chad, or some other persona that my drunk, angry, incomprehensible customers have made up for me.
For this reason, I was glad for a little AIESEC party break in the middle of the my shift. I'm glad that I have a job that I can just stop working whenever I want, but at the same time it's hard to stop working because all I think about is how much I could be making if I was actually working instead of eating ice cream cake.
Random conversation:
Tim Horton's Employee: 'that come to $1.87'
Me: *hands him a $20 bill'
THE: It's just easier if you pay with that $5 bill in your hand
Me: Ya, I just want to break a $20
THE: But it's just less change to pay with a $5
Me: That's the point, I want some $5 bills instead of this $20
THE: But it's...
Me: I don't even want your shitty coffee, I really just want the change
THE: Your change comes to $18.13
...
Me: Hey man, I'm sorry about the whole 'shitty coffee' thing
THE: That's okay
Me: I love your coffee, I'd die without it.
THE: I hate the coffee here
The excitement of the evening picked up with a group of customers, one in particular who referenced every popular movie of the last decade within 5 minutes, took a piss out the side of my cab, tried to get his friends to make two stops, opened the door while I was driving down 33rd, and then eventually got home. When there, he apologized for his antics, which included asking me 5 or 6 times what my name was. Despite giving him my correct name, he called me Roger and claimed that I was ignoring him. He gave me $60 for a $6 fare, but then didn't like that I was ignoring him. He called me an asshole, took back $40 and said if he ever saw me again he'd punch me in the face. He then finally got out and I took his friends to their house. I told them that the extra $14 the other guy gave me covered their fare, but the one girl gave me an extra $10 and apologized.
My next customers were similarly loud but less threatening. The one guy who sat up front asked me my name 4 times. Despite also telling him my real name, he decided that my name was going to be Chad instead. He attempted to razz me as he usually does to other cab drivers, but couldn't be on his game because he said I was too cool of a guy. When we got to their home, they invited me in for a beer, to which I declined.
Later on, I met two guys who were snorting something as I drove up. Their later conversation revealed this to be cocaine. They gave me an address across the city, to which I began driving on the most direct route. Half-way through one of them accused me of going in the wrong direction. He told me to make a couple turns in what was actually the wrong direction. Eventually, we stopped and I got out my map to ensure them that I knew where I was going. They were upset with my constant delays and going in the wrong direction. When we had almost arrived, they argued as to whether they were going to the right place. When we arrived, I decided not to unlock the doors. The guy in the back tried to get out really quickly but couldn't pass my super awesome security device known as child-safety locks. His friend also tried to leave quickly, but upon seeing that I wasn't unlocking the back door for his friend, he paid me the $12 fare....no tip, of course. His friend in the back finally got out and proceeded to slam the side door of the van on his own hand. As I drove off, he was clearly in a considerable amount of pain. He slammed a door really hard on his hand. He also almost left his shoes in my cab. I don't know when or why he had his shoes taken off. I got out of there pretty quickly.
My next fare came in the form of a woman running away from a guy. She jumped in the front seat rather quickly and said: 'He's not coming. Go, go, go!' We struck up a conversation, and it turns out she is also a 4th year student at the Edwards School of Business. She didn't recognize me at all, but she did look a little familiar to me. I plugged AIESEC and my foreign film night during our conversation about what it is like being a cab driver. She was cool, having a good conversation can really make a night better.
My night ended with me working past my shifts' end in order to pick up Marshall, who has become a regular in my cab....Marshall and his 100% tips are welcome at any time. I was also supposed to pick up another friend, some guy I worked with a year ago at London Drugs. He found out I was cab driver and got my number through my brother. He said he would call me later in the evening but never did. Now that he has my number, he is about to become a regular in my cab.
How much money did I make tonight? I don't really care. I'm fucking tired and even I don't know whether I'm Carson, Roger, Chad, or some other persona that my drunk, angry, incomprehensible customers have made up for me.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Hallowe'en
12 hours. Straight. No breaks. No coffee. FML. There are however, 465 reasons to like that.
Best costume: A man dressed as a hot dog bun....and when I say he was dressed as a hot dog bun, I mean that he cut a hole in a small mattress and wore it around his neck. He claimed that he would go around hugging ladies and asking them if they wanted to be the hot dog for his bun.
Runners-up: 4 guys that looked like the Hanson brothers dressed as chippendales. A bonus for one of them biffing it while running towards my cab. Also, 4 guys dressed as bananas. An AIESECer dressed as the tallest samurai that has ever existed. One gigantic blue elmo/grover. One mexican in a fat suit with a mullet.
Best costume by a taxi driver: A fat, old, east indian driver dressed up as a Dalmatian. Really no competition to speak of though.
Groups in my cab that I knew: 3.....one group consisting of a couple AIESECers, one group consisting of guys I play basketball with, and one group of people I went to high school with (I never pointed this out to them).
Tonight I became a hero to a small group who had been stranded at Moxie's. They had been there for over an hour and a half waiting for a cab. The wait time for most of the night was 45 minutes. They were really happy when I came and thanked me repeatedly. What they didn't know was that and hour and half earlier I had been sitting at Moxie's when they originally called. I gave them about 5 minutes to come out of the building and get into my cab, and when they didn't, I left....because it was insanely busy around town and I had no patience. However, I decided not to mention these minor details to them.
Almost had a fight over my cab. At one point there were about 50-100 people stranded outside Outlaws looking for a cab. One guy flagged me down and when we went to pick up his front we got drunk-attacked (this occurs when a drunk doesn't realize that there are already people in the cab and repeatedly pull on the door handle and wonder why it's locked. This occurs 3-4 times a shift for me). Thinking his ride home was in jeopardy, the guy in my cab jumped out and almost attacked the drunk. Thankfully his friends arrived and we left.
Good part of my job: girls who are actually nice. This usually takes place with my worst drunks of the night, and then there is one nice girl in the cab who is very nice and says 'please' and 'thank you' and gives in a little extra tip. Doesn't sound like much, but always makes the night a little better.
Even better part of my job: ladies....costumes.....short skirts. It seems that any ladies costume can be made better by the addition of a really short skirt. Did I have wandering eyes? Maybe.
Now, if you happen to leave your phone or wallet in my cab, it gets returned to the office where you can claim. However, if you leave an untouched 12-pack of Moosehead Lager, it gets moved to my fridge. I've decided that whoever left it thought I was a really good driver and that it was a tip. I'm pretty sure it was in there for the majority of the evening, and I was expecting one of my customers to snag it. However, it was still there at the end of the night and I felt no reason for me not to take it.
At the airport, waiting for a flight to a land, another driver comes over to talk to me and eventually the subject comes up and I say how I'm a student at the U of S. The other driver says 'I know, you're that Commerce student'. Apparently, a lot of other drivers know me but haven't actually met me. I'm the 'Commerce student'. I'm a pretty big deal, people know me.
Scariest moment of the evening: Driving home and finding out the hard way that going 80 around a slight curve in the road with really icy roads is a bad idea. No other cars were around to witness my 720, and my supreme driving skills kept it on the road. And with my Camaro finally changing from an awesome-machine into a death-machine, I can announce winter to have officially arrived.
Best costume: A man dressed as a hot dog bun....and when I say he was dressed as a hot dog bun, I mean that he cut a hole in a small mattress and wore it around his neck. He claimed that he would go around hugging ladies and asking them if they wanted to be the hot dog for his bun.
Runners-up: 4 guys that looked like the Hanson brothers dressed as chippendales. A bonus for one of them biffing it while running towards my cab. Also, 4 guys dressed as bananas. An AIESECer dressed as the tallest samurai that has ever existed. One gigantic blue elmo/grover. One mexican in a fat suit with a mullet.
Best costume by a taxi driver: A fat, old, east indian driver dressed up as a Dalmatian. Really no competition to speak of though.
Groups in my cab that I knew: 3.....one group consisting of a couple AIESECers, one group consisting of guys I play basketball with, and one group of people I went to high school with (I never pointed this out to them).
Tonight I became a hero to a small group who had been stranded at Moxie's. They had been there for over an hour and a half waiting for a cab. The wait time for most of the night was 45 minutes. They were really happy when I came and thanked me repeatedly. What they didn't know was that and hour and half earlier I had been sitting at Moxie's when they originally called. I gave them about 5 minutes to come out of the building and get into my cab, and when they didn't, I left....because it was insanely busy around town and I had no patience. However, I decided not to mention these minor details to them.
Almost had a fight over my cab. At one point there were about 50-100 people stranded outside Outlaws looking for a cab. One guy flagged me down and when we went to pick up his front we got drunk-attacked (this occurs when a drunk doesn't realize that there are already people in the cab and repeatedly pull on the door handle and wonder why it's locked. This occurs 3-4 times a shift for me). Thinking his ride home was in jeopardy, the guy in my cab jumped out and almost attacked the drunk. Thankfully his friends arrived and we left.
Good part of my job: girls who are actually nice. This usually takes place with my worst drunks of the night, and then there is one nice girl in the cab who is very nice and says 'please' and 'thank you' and gives in a little extra tip. Doesn't sound like much, but always makes the night a little better.
Even better part of my job: ladies....costumes.....short skirts. It seems that any ladies costume can be made better by the addition of a really short skirt. Did I have wandering eyes? Maybe.
Now, if you happen to leave your phone or wallet in my cab, it gets returned to the office where you can claim. However, if you leave an untouched 12-pack of Moosehead Lager, it gets moved to my fridge. I've decided that whoever left it thought I was a really good driver and that it was a tip. I'm pretty sure it was in there for the majority of the evening, and I was expecting one of my customers to snag it. However, it was still there at the end of the night and I felt no reason for me not to take it.
At the airport, waiting for a flight to a land, another driver comes over to talk to me and eventually the subject comes up and I say how I'm a student at the U of S. The other driver says 'I know, you're that Commerce student'. Apparently, a lot of other drivers know me but haven't actually met me. I'm the 'Commerce student'. I'm a pretty big deal, people know me.
Scariest moment of the evening: Driving home and finding out the hard way that going 80 around a slight curve in the road with really icy roads is a bad idea. No other cars were around to witness my 720, and my supreme driving skills kept it on the road. And with my Camaro finally changing from an awesome-machine into a death-machine, I can announce winter to have officially arrived.
Monday, October 25, 2010
Popular Comments
My things I used to hear the most were related to me being young and white. Thanks to Jersey Shore, the thing I now hear the most is: 'Cabs are here!'.....usually by people going to Tequila's.
I've considered rolling down my window and shouting that as I drive up to a bar.
...and just to clarify, I don't watch Jersey Shore, but after hearing it so often I had to ask what the deal was, and then I had to check it out on YouTube.
...fuckin Jersey Shore....
I've considered rolling down my window and shouting that as I drive up to a bar.
...and just to clarify, I don't watch Jersey Shore, but after hearing it so often I had to ask what the deal was, and then I had to check it out on YouTube.
...fuckin Jersey Shore....
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Nobody Cheated Me Tonight!
The Trews were playing at Louis' tonight. After it was over they were getting into their van/RV/superbus thingy and had about 15 pretty fine looking ladies from Louis' joining them. The ladies that I picked up, they tried, and were rejected. I laughed on the inside.
A fight at The Hose. While taking one of the victims to the hospital for a cut above his eye, he told his uncle had connections and that one word of this event to him, and 'that guy would be fucking dead'.
I happened to hear two of my customers saying that they worked with The Sheaf. I was planning to call their office on Monday to try and get an article for AIESEC. I struck up the conversation and things look positive on that front. Hopefully they actually remember that conversation, I even got his business card. On a side note, who takes business cards with them to Tequila's?
Food eaten in my cab tonight: McDonald's, Vern's, Tim Horton's, Subway, hotdog, and chocolate bars. Only one of those was me.
Highlight of the night: The sky. It started with a clear sky and a huge full moon, and ended with fog rolling in that reflected the light of the city. It gave off a purple and orange glow and made the city have a very surreal dream-like presence. The moments between trips were very peaceful because of that....and then it started raining.
Random moment: at the end of the ride, one of my customers shook my hand and said 'white power!'
New hobby: late at night, cab drivers usually wave at eachother when they pass, regardless of which company they work for. Sometimes when I'm alone in the cab and I see another cab driver approaching, I'll either make funny faces at him or crank my radio and start fist pumping as I pass. The looks I get really make my evening a lot better.
If you're driving near Ruth and Lorne late at night, try to avoid Stan's Place. First of all, don't go in the building. Secondly, half the cars that come out of that parking lot are drunk drivers. The murder that happened there last week was of no surprise to me. I have not found a worse place in the city to frequent late on a weekend.
A fight at The Hose. While taking one of the victims to the hospital for a cut above his eye, he told his uncle had connections and that one word of this event to him, and 'that guy would be fucking dead'.
I happened to hear two of my customers saying that they worked with The Sheaf. I was planning to call their office on Monday to try and get an article for AIESEC. I struck up the conversation and things look positive on that front. Hopefully they actually remember that conversation, I even got his business card. On a side note, who takes business cards with them to Tequila's?
Food eaten in my cab tonight: McDonald's, Vern's, Tim Horton's, Subway, hotdog, and chocolate bars. Only one of those was me.
Highlight of the night: The sky. It started with a clear sky and a huge full moon, and ended with fog rolling in that reflected the light of the city. It gave off a purple and orange glow and made the city have a very surreal dream-like presence. The moments between trips were very peaceful because of that....and then it started raining.
Random moment: at the end of the ride, one of my customers shook my hand and said 'white power!'
New hobby: late at night, cab drivers usually wave at eachother when they pass, regardless of which company they work for. Sometimes when I'm alone in the cab and I see another cab driver approaching, I'll either make funny faces at him or crank my radio and start fist pumping as I pass. The looks I get really make my evening a lot better.
If you're driving near Ruth and Lorne late at night, try to avoid Stan's Place. First of all, don't go in the building. Secondly, half the cars that come out of that parking lot are drunk drivers. The murder that happened there last week was of no surprise to me. I have not found a worse place in the city to frequent late on a weekend.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Why Is There Carpet On My Steering Wheel (Tales of Ten-Seven)
As some of you may already know, I have torn ligaments in my right ankle which not only makes walking difficult, but also makes driving difficult as well. In an effort to find a solution, I drove to work with my left foot. This was a terrible idea. I decided that instead I would drive with both feet.
My shift continued on its already questionable note when I arrived and my taxi was not there. This is an all too common occurrence (it happens almost every shift). The other driver knows his shift ends at 4. I work the same time every weekend, and every weekend I have to get dispatch to call him back and give me my cab. Every time he claims that he did not know and thought he worked til 5. Such is the nature of cab drivers. However, this time was a little different. Not only was the 28 not at the garage for me to drive, it was no where. The 28 cab no longer exists. As it turns out, it;s gone and I am now working 5-5 shifts in cab 107. Thanks head office, thanks for letting me know these small details about my car and schedule being changed, you're a big help.
About an hour in I realized this was going to be a long night for my ankle. Braking with your left foot is more difficult than I thought. There were many times tonight that I ended up stopping mid-way into an intersection, and many times I had both the accelerator and brake pedals pushed down, pedal to the metal.
Bad cabbie story: I picked up a girl on the west side and she told me about getting ditched my her last cab driver. She wanted to go on a trip with a few stops, and gave her money up front, $20, to the driver. Her first stop was around the corner, maybe a $4 fare at this point. She goes into the store, the cabbie drives off. He must have enjoyed his 400% tip. I told her this: As a cabbie, I get customers who rip me off a lot.....but mathematically, there's a lot better chance of a cabbie ripping off his customer than a customer ripping off the cabbie. Sad, but true.
A customer asked me what happened if/when a customer bails on the driver. I explained how the police and taxis work. If a customer robs or bails on a driver, the police are not there to protect me, the driver. If a customer robs or bails on a driver, the police are not there to protect you, the thief. You're drunk and having fun, I'm sober and pissed off. Let's see what happens.
Three customers gave me an $8 dollar so that I would let them sit in my cab for a couple minutes and crack some beers while they waited for the friends. A couple minutes later their friends drove up, over, and threw the lawn.....eventually parked safely near the garage and got out of the car. My passengers left. I left.
Customers bailing on me is something I'm getting used to. They all seem to be of the same demographic: young, white, male, backwards hat. For this reason, I was fairly surprised when four flight attendants that I picked up from the airport decided to run out on me, laughing. My ankle is barely holding on, I can't chase them. I don't think I would have anyway, it was unusual.
Some prick from out of town decided to call a cab. I don't driving all the way out there for free, but the fare back in to town usually makes up for it. So, when I showed up and they decided to say 'nevermind, we don't need a cab anymore' I kind of wanted to do donuts on their gravel driveway and spray them said gravel. Seriously, if you're going to call a cab for a place that is over a kilometer out of the city, you better damn well use that cab. Dick move of the night.
Halloween started early. A french guy with black eyeliner and a fake plastic sword came into my cab. There were similar horribly costumed people at The Pat, where I dropped him off. I can't wait to work next weekend, the costumes should make for an interesting night.
My late night break place is always Tim Horton's on Cumberland and 8th. Usually a 7:00, 10:00, and 1:00 thing. However, that will come to an end. Donuts and coffee and gross, especially that often. If any of you know of any places that are open late and sell reasonably healthy food made quick, I am all ears. Also, when I went today I order two donuts as I was hungry. When I got my bag, the Tim Horton's employee (a fairly hot asian chick) smiled at me in a not-forced-customer-service type way. When I got back to my cab, I noticed I had three donuts instead of two. Either she wanted to bone me or she is just friendly and incompetent. I'm going with the former because it makes me feel good about myself, and I haven't had any cougars hitting on me in my cab for three whole shifts now....kinda depressing, maybe I should unbutton a few buttons and show off some chest hair.
Oh ya....
P.S. If you're wondering about the title. My old cab, the 28, had a foam thingy that went around the steering wheel to make shifts more comfortable. My new cab has carpet around the steering wheel. I don't get it either. I'm not even joking....carpet.
My shift continued on its already questionable note when I arrived and my taxi was not there. This is an all too common occurrence (it happens almost every shift). The other driver knows his shift ends at 4. I work the same time every weekend, and every weekend I have to get dispatch to call him back and give me my cab. Every time he claims that he did not know and thought he worked til 5. Such is the nature of cab drivers. However, this time was a little different. Not only was the 28 not at the garage for me to drive, it was no where. The 28 cab no longer exists. As it turns out, it;s gone and I am now working 5-5 shifts in cab 107. Thanks head office, thanks for letting me know these small details about my car and schedule being changed, you're a big help.
About an hour in I realized this was going to be a long night for my ankle. Braking with your left foot is more difficult than I thought. There were many times tonight that I ended up stopping mid-way into an intersection, and many times I had both the accelerator and brake pedals pushed down, pedal to the metal.
Bad cabbie story: I picked up a girl on the west side and she told me about getting ditched my her last cab driver. She wanted to go on a trip with a few stops, and gave her money up front, $20, to the driver. Her first stop was around the corner, maybe a $4 fare at this point. She goes into the store, the cabbie drives off. He must have enjoyed his 400% tip. I told her this: As a cabbie, I get customers who rip me off a lot.....but mathematically, there's a lot better chance of a cabbie ripping off his customer than a customer ripping off the cabbie. Sad, but true.
A customer asked me what happened if/when a customer bails on the driver. I explained how the police and taxis work. If a customer robs or bails on a driver, the police are not there to protect me, the driver. If a customer robs or bails on a driver, the police are not there to protect you, the thief. You're drunk and having fun, I'm sober and pissed off. Let's see what happens.
Three customers gave me an $8 dollar so that I would let them sit in my cab for a couple minutes and crack some beers while they waited for the friends. A couple minutes later their friends drove up, over, and threw the lawn.....eventually parked safely near the garage and got out of the car. My passengers left. I left.
Customers bailing on me is something I'm getting used to. They all seem to be of the same demographic: young, white, male, backwards hat. For this reason, I was fairly surprised when four flight attendants that I picked up from the airport decided to run out on me, laughing. My ankle is barely holding on, I can't chase them. I don't think I would have anyway, it was unusual.
Some prick from out of town decided to call a cab. I don't driving all the way out there for free, but the fare back in to town usually makes up for it. So, when I showed up and they decided to say 'nevermind, we don't need a cab anymore' I kind of wanted to do donuts on their gravel driveway and spray them said gravel. Seriously, if you're going to call a cab for a place that is over a kilometer out of the city, you better damn well use that cab. Dick move of the night.
Halloween started early. A french guy with black eyeliner and a fake plastic sword came into my cab. There were similar horribly costumed people at The Pat, where I dropped him off. I can't wait to work next weekend, the costumes should make for an interesting night.
My late night break place is always Tim Horton's on Cumberland and 8th. Usually a 7:00, 10:00, and 1:00 thing. However, that will come to an end. Donuts and coffee and gross, especially that often. If any of you know of any places that are open late and sell reasonably healthy food made quick, I am all ears. Also, when I went today I order two donuts as I was hungry. When I got my bag, the Tim Horton's employee (a fairly hot asian chick) smiled at me in a not-forced-customer-service type way. When I got back to my cab, I noticed I had three donuts instead of two. Either she wanted to bone me or she is just friendly and incompetent. I'm going with the former because it makes me feel good about myself, and I haven't had any cougars hitting on me in my cab for three whole shifts now....kinda depressing, maybe I should unbutton a few buttons and show off some chest hair.
Oh ya....
P.S. If you're wondering about the title. My old cab, the 28, had a foam thingy that went around the steering wheel to make shifts more comfortable. My new cab has carpet around the steering wheel. I don't get it either. I'm not even joking....carpet.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Driving The Birthday Party
To cover my gas costs and lease for the night, I usually have to make $125. This is my break-even point, and it usually occurs at 10:00 PM, half-way through my shift (although I usually earn $200-$300 in the second half of my shift). Tonight, this occurred at 9:00, and thank god for that....
....because at 10:00, I stopped being a taxi driver and started being a source of free rides around the city. I have no problem with this of course, because it's my friend's birthday party and I really don't care that much about money. The plan was to pick up a few people from their houses and drop them at Outlaws. What actually happened was this: I drive to one end of the city, and then back 3/4 of the way to the other end of the city, and then downtown only to realize that the birthday girl has forgotten her ID. This means another trip to the outside of the city, and then back to Outlaw's, only for the birthday party to realize the obvious....that Outlaw's is a terrible club with terrible people. So, I go back once more to bring them to 302. Total time: 90 minutes. Fare if the meter was running: >$50
So now that that's over with I should probably go back to making money, right? Nope, went to Tim Horton's instead.
Eventually I did get around to doing my job. Sadness ensued. For the second time in as many weeks, I pick up a passenger who informs me that they have recently been diagnosed with Leukemia and have less than 6 months to live. What am I supposed to say to that? I don't know, but I probably should have come up with something better than, 'Well, that's a bummer', a phrase which I've been using a lot lately. I turned the meter off when we made stops, he was a cool guy and talked about wanting to finish law school and being his own boss for his entire life.
Birthday Party Part II: Eventually the party needed to be picked up, and disappointingly the birthday girl was still able to walk and not so drunk as to be passed out in a gutter somewhere (the only possible way to end a successful evening). Instances of driving then occurred. Eventually we came upon a McDonald's and eating soon followed. My lack of earnings for the night caused me to suggest eating in the car instead of stopping and eating there. At this point, I'm ten hours into my shift and my ability to maintain a conversation or appear that I have any interest in life has long gone. So, I apologize for that....but it's not as if I'm a big talker anyway.
With a couple hours left I was able to make some coin to salvage what was otherwise a failure of a shift (in terms of money, it was actually an enjoyable shift). Earlier in the evening, I picked up someone who instantly recognized me. People probably get the same taxi driver often, but when that taxi driver is the classiest, most handsome taxi driver in the city, you take notice. That's not that unusual though, what is unusual is that I picked that person up for a third time later that night. Oddly enough, she's a quiet one so after three trips we never actually had a legitimate conversation.
My night ended on another failure. I'm on the lower east side near the freeway which is usually connected to the lower east side, which is where my customer needed to go. I told him there was construction and that the freeway was blocked. I sincerely believed this to be true, and I felt bad saying we had to take a long detour to his house. However, on the way he noticed the on-ramp was open and therefore the freeway option as well. No more words were exchanged for the rest of the trip. Tip: $0.00
....because at 10:00, I stopped being a taxi driver and started being a source of free rides around the city. I have no problem with this of course, because it's my friend's birthday party and I really don't care that much about money. The plan was to pick up a few people from their houses and drop them at Outlaws. What actually happened was this: I drive to one end of the city, and then back 3/4 of the way to the other end of the city, and then downtown only to realize that the birthday girl has forgotten her ID. This means another trip to the outside of the city, and then back to Outlaw's, only for the birthday party to realize the obvious....that Outlaw's is a terrible club with terrible people. So, I go back once more to bring them to 302. Total time: 90 minutes. Fare if the meter was running: >$50
So now that that's over with I should probably go back to making money, right? Nope, went to Tim Horton's instead.
Eventually I did get around to doing my job. Sadness ensued. For the second time in as many weeks, I pick up a passenger who informs me that they have recently been diagnosed with Leukemia and have less than 6 months to live. What am I supposed to say to that? I don't know, but I probably should have come up with something better than, 'Well, that's a bummer', a phrase which I've been using a lot lately. I turned the meter off when we made stops, he was a cool guy and talked about wanting to finish law school and being his own boss for his entire life.
Birthday Party Part II: Eventually the party needed to be picked up, and disappointingly the birthday girl was still able to walk and not so drunk as to be passed out in a gutter somewhere (the only possible way to end a successful evening). Instances of driving then occurred. Eventually we came upon a McDonald's and eating soon followed. My lack of earnings for the night caused me to suggest eating in the car instead of stopping and eating there. At this point, I'm ten hours into my shift and my ability to maintain a conversation or appear that I have any interest in life has long gone. So, I apologize for that....but it's not as if I'm a big talker anyway.
With a couple hours left I was able to make some coin to salvage what was otherwise a failure of a shift (in terms of money, it was actually an enjoyable shift). Earlier in the evening, I picked up someone who instantly recognized me. People probably get the same taxi driver often, but when that taxi driver is the classiest, most handsome taxi driver in the city, you take notice. That's not that unusual though, what is unusual is that I picked that person up for a third time later that night. Oddly enough, she's a quiet one so after three trips we never actually had a legitimate conversation.
My night ended on another failure. I'm on the lower east side near the freeway which is usually connected to the lower east side, which is where my customer needed to go. I told him there was construction and that the freeway was blocked. I sincerely believed this to be true, and I felt bad saying we had to take a long detour to his house. However, on the way he noticed the on-ramp was open and therefore the freeway option as well. No more words were exchanged for the rest of the trip. Tip: $0.00
A White Person Driving Foreigners Around In A Taxi....The Irony!
For some reason there were a lot of languages spoken in my taxi tonight. I can only assume that whenever a passenger is speaking in another language that they are somehow insulting me or talking bad about me. What reason do I have for believing this? No reason, none at all. However, my paranoia became somewhat justified when I had to drive an asian couple to the west side (which might as well be another country, I have no idea where I'm going over there). Anyway, they start speaking whatever language it was they spoke (they looked Filipino), except that some words are easier to translate than others. Amid words I don't understand I can pick out 'University Bridge','Circle Drive', and 'shortcut?'. How dare you accuse me of not knowing where I'm going, I'm a goddamn taxi driver (I didn't know where I was going, but I did end up taking the fastest route). Tip: $0.00.
The second foreigners spoke German, the third foreigners spoke French. I don't speak French, but even I could tell that these guys can't speak French. Their accent sounded like they were chewing on pillows while bees were flying around their mouths. However, my most interesting foreigner of the night was an asian girl, at least she looked she looked asian. However, as soon as she started talking I was bombarded by the thickest Aussie accent I've ever heard. Laws of nature were broken here folks. Asians with Australian accents? Doesn't sound that crazy, but I was definitely caught off guard.
Now, I have nothing against foreigners. I wish our society had even more diversity than it already does. However, speaking in another language in my cab robs me of ones of the crucial things that gets me through my 12 hour shifts.....and that is creeping on other people's conversations. I may look like I'm paying attention to the road, but I'm listening to every word of your conversation that I'm not supposed to be a part of. It's like people-watching taken to the next level. Does that make me a creeper? Yes.
Later in the evening I got into a discussion with one of my passengers about bikers on the road, about why they suck and why it would be good to be one. We eventually got off the subject and he asked about myself. At this point I decided to point out to him that we had gone to elementary and high school together. Apparently he goes to the university as well. It took him two tries to remember my name. No, my name is not Jared. Yes, everyone used to call me Carson Daly. Tip: $5.00
Doesn't sound like an eventful night, but one of my better nights. This is kinda the reason why I have this job. My night was filled with random conversations with people about a variety of topics. Car mechanics, BHP Billiton, environmentalism, handjobs, death, conversion rates....there is really no subject that is off topic.
The second foreigners spoke German, the third foreigners spoke French. I don't speak French, but even I could tell that these guys can't speak French. Their accent sounded like they were chewing on pillows while bees were flying around their mouths. However, my most interesting foreigner of the night was an asian girl, at least she looked she looked asian. However, as soon as she started talking I was bombarded by the thickest Aussie accent I've ever heard. Laws of nature were broken here folks. Asians with Australian accents? Doesn't sound that crazy, but I was definitely caught off guard.
Now, I have nothing against foreigners. I wish our society had even more diversity than it already does. However, speaking in another language in my cab robs me of ones of the crucial things that gets me through my 12 hour shifts.....and that is creeping on other people's conversations. I may look like I'm paying attention to the road, but I'm listening to every word of your conversation that I'm not supposed to be a part of. It's like people-watching taken to the next level. Does that make me a creeper? Yes.
Later in the evening I got into a discussion with one of my passengers about bikers on the road, about why they suck and why it would be good to be one. We eventually got off the subject and he asked about myself. At this point I decided to point out to him that we had gone to elementary and high school together. Apparently he goes to the university as well. It took him two tries to remember my name. No, my name is not Jared. Yes, everyone used to call me Carson Daly. Tip: $5.00
Doesn't sound like an eventful night, but one of my better nights. This is kinda the reason why I have this job. My night was filled with random conversations with people about a variety of topics. Car mechanics, BHP Billiton, environmentalism, handjobs, death, conversion rates....there is really no subject that is off topic.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Saturday, October 9, 2010
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